Tot is just too much some days.
A few days ago, Tot and I had friends over. Tot was doing the "potty march" and I suggested that he go handle his business. He didn't like the idea, so I insisted. While he went, he wasn't happy about it and slammed the door to the bathroom (we are NOT door slammers, I don't know where that came from). So, I went to chat with him about not slamming the door and left him be. From the other room, I could then hear VERY. EMPHATIC. WORDS. FROM. THE. BATHROOM, MOMMY. BUT I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT HE WAS SAYING, MOMMY! I asked if he needed something. To which he replied, "I didn't hear something." Then I asked what he was saying while I wasn't in the room, and he put his head down and mumbled, "...that I hoped you crawled in a tree and a fox eats you..." Oh. Wait, what?
Another day, MH was fondly looking forward to having Tot as a hunting buddy. Like this year. I just gave him my best "Yeah, right" head nod. Then he turned to Tot and said, "Tot, do you think you would like to sit on a deer stand with Daddy this year and see if we see any deer?" Tot very happily replied, "YEAH! Maybe I can holler for some deers to come see me!" Then I died of laughter.
MH was leaving for bowling, and I said, "I love you, drive safe!" Then Tot said, "Bye, Daddy. I love you. Be careful out there, there might be some bears!"
Finally, this weekend, Tot told me he loved me and that he would always protect me from "bad guys". "Thanks, Bud. That is great to know." Then he proceeded to tell me how he use his shield to cut their heads off and then use his sword to cut out their eyes. I didn't tell him that it was unnecessary to remove eyes from decapitated heads. But seriously, is this a boy thing? I mean yes, he is into all things superhero, but we read children's versions of those stories, and he doesn't watch any of that on TV. Last I checked, Daniel Tiger and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse were not decapitation teaching programs...